A year ago I took this class called Critical Thinking. There was a lot of talk and discussion regarding public schools versus private. Having gone to top rated prep school and knowing the ultimate education and state of the art facilities, I knew the junk private schools my teacher and the students were droning on about but they had no idea about my school. I kept my mouth shut for two reasons. None of which show a hint at virtuousness. Instead illustrate a person I greatly despise. First there was the teacher. She had quit her teaching position, her resignation had gone viral and as a result she published an amazing book on teaching students to ultimately benefit them and stop teachers from teaching to the tests. The second reason is that I was completely outnumbered. Neither of those reasons gives a pass to educate ignorant people, who don’t know ( and how could they have known?) My Prep school is in a class with a handful of other top prep schools in the world, where you get an education second to none, despite all the controversy surrounding the money for a secondary education.
I didn’t use my voice that day and as a result I had to listen to rant and rail about private schools all semester just being a bunch of nothing. I regret most not standing up to my teacher, because I had already outed myself as a prep scholar, and she let the class say whatever they wanted and as long as fit into her pet paradigm it was okay….but it wasn’t OK to have given permission to put down a world class institution like my school, instead of acknowledging she did not understand. However it wouldn’t have mattered there wasn’t any temperance it was public schools are best and damn you to hell all you prep scholars. Your accomplishments to get yourself accepted along with your parents hard earned money to send you to such a school mean nothing here in this classroom of higher education. I so regret not speaking up and using my voice to educate. I respect and care for this teacher very much and she would have smiled warmly at me and told to find my voice.
I found my voice when I was barely 10 yrs.old. My drunken old man was starting a fight that I too often kept my mouth shut and still got a beating. So I decided this night, I would speak the hush hush silenced truth to my dear old man. I started with my mother being able to hear this going on. He started his usual attack on me and this time with my hero Gandhi in the back of my head, I began to speak the old mans truth for it didn’t matter how complainant i was i was still going to get my ass kicked by this man who claimed to be my father. I thought real hard about what Gandhi said, “They can take our bodies but they will never have our will or obedience.”
So I started in with boy you’re such a man, kicking the ass of your own child. “What?,” he said looking dumb-founded. I said, ” You beat on me nearly everyday, but nobody in this world knows it, its our big family secret. ” You’re nothing but a drunk. You tell me God as your witness knows how much you hate me? Well I fucking hate you back. I do not love you in anyway.” He called to my mother could she hear what I was saying? She didn’t answer so he just got more pissed off. I said, ” Nobody else’s father is a drunk like you who kicks the shit out of me. Just beat me because unless you kill me I will never show you respect….yes I will fake it but its all a lie. Just beat me now I have nothing more to say. But every time you beat on me I will let you know you are nothing more than a miserable drunk” With that he bashed me into the ground, I woke up in our car, I could barely move. Someday I would find an even bigger voice and tell the authorities just how I ended up in the hospital.
Finding my voice with my father, has served me quite well as different it was to let my school down when I didn’t use my voice and proudly defend the best prep school in the world. I guess in a way, I just did it an entire year later. Fuck them they haven’t a clue placing my school in with all the try and want to be’s. I did wear my school baseball cap in sort of my own Gandhi defense.
Nobody has ever bullied me or taken advantage of me or my friends. I have never gotten physical with another, my freaking freaky usually does the trick, and with politeness and respect I have had my fair share with teachers and professors a like. I have found my voice when it comes to health care, just give me a chance, and I will fix my school roots no matter what the costs. I think I owe it to myself and all the amazing students….we are much more than good test takers, that is insulting to my complete girth of intelligence and my first rate education. There is no need to put down scholars at my school or the other elite prep schools there are too…..public school can and is great, but please give my school its just do. Go to the campus, you will be really wowed, not by the science center, the arts museum, or the largest secondary school library in the country, but by the students and the teachers who are so deeply committed. It is true, once an a student of the school always that student through and through.
BORN THIS WAY-2016
**I did not reference my school out of respect for the ongoing troubles that bog it down temporarily but not in the long run I really do hope it recovers to its place at the top of the class…..*****