Well I left Walden abruptly the first time the end of November, so I would get to be home for Thanksgiving. My family and my primary care, laid out strict guidelines or I was going back, this time to stay. I think I ended out for six days. I went back the first few days of December, 2014. When I arrived in admitting, I was really sick, my weight was almost at the lowest it would get. I had no energy or smile on my face, everything took all of my effort to just complete the simplest of tasks. I had grown scared of my failing body. Multiple trips to the Emergency Room for electrolyte imbalances, and dehydration. It was no fun, and long gone were the memories when all this seemed worth it, I had lost my control to this demon illness of mine. I had once had control everything. Not anymore, I had no control over anything, it was like my best friend had turned against me.
I had everything in the palm of my hand and now as I waiting to enter Walden for a real stay, my life backed up on me, I felt a crushing feeling like nothing before, It was hate. Hate for myself and hate for what I did to myself……to be continued tomorrow
BORN THIS WAY -2016