Today is a reminder to me that as people we are all so different in our nature. I befriended a person, three months ago, and we hit it off right from the start. There was no getting around some major differences; the way we lived and the way we were raised. I don’t think anybody is ever any better than someone else. Unless of course you talking the treatment of others, children, or animals.
This friend I will call Frank, was a dynamic guy and he had a good sense of humor. I liked him for his simple ways, but come to find out he was much more complicated. Our friendship took off, we texted everyday, soon the phone calls started. He had romantic feelings towards me, I was straight up honest I had a girl that was my dream girl, in Stephanie. Looking back, Frank never respected much of anything I ever did say. Especially when it came to Stephanie, he would dismiss it and move right past that part. It was a real warning call that I missed, because I wanted Frank as my friend.
We finally spent an entire day together just like 5 or 6 weeks ago. No it wasn’t romantic for me in anyway, I felt 110% platonic. Frank kept making innuendos, and quite frankly I thought they would pass in time. This sort of attraction from the start is something sadly I have lived with my entire adult life. I want to be friends with somebody, and they cant get past the rest of me. I have worked really hard since my divorce to be the best Corey I can be to everybody, and learn from the mistakes in my marriage.
The day with Frank was quite magical. I thought perhaps I had really found a long lost soulmate, and with my girl I will marry I thought wow isn’t this the best thing that could happen? Didn’t quite turn out that way. As I said we had a great day together, and spent the entire day just the two of us and my pug, Julia Bleu. We drove up to the beach and took a walk on the shore, we went out for seafood and then came back to my place. I believed we were both on the same page, thinking that perhaps we were really soulmates. We hung out at my house for a couple of hours, chatting away, and making plans to get together again real soon. Nothing about it was sexual for me, and I don’t think it was for Frank either. Perhaps I am wrong, I have obviously proven that in the bigger picture. However I never felt uncomfortable, and was totally at ease. I felt Frank read me pretty well. Except for the sexual comments that I thought would die and change as he got to know me better and know what I liked and what I am attracted to, and who I want to spend my life with. I told Frank it was so great to be soulmates, we would always be in each others lives.
It started going on 7 pm and Frank had an hour drive in front of him to get back to his house. So we sadly ended the great day, with the promise of many, many more times to hang out and visit. When Frank left I felt really happy, and I was excited to tell my girl all about it later that evening. Frank and I continued to grow our friendship, and we had interaction as well on Facebook. It was there that things started to change, and I got nervous of what was to come. One weekend day I posted things about Stephanie and I and it really hit him hard. He was not okay, felt off at work, it was then I realized we shared some similar feelings but also there were many we did not share in common. We got through that hump, but he still wouldn’t hear me, and his response was too intense and his temper too hot for my liking, so I began to back off. It was so crazy as we had such a good time, and were developing an amazing repore.
Sadly things didn’t get better. After that incident I stopped posting about Stephanie, and I felt like I was under a microscope. I really thought I had a good feel on him. Obviously I didn’t or he hide the other parts. One of the last straws was I had my daughter here, and when I have her I don’t share my time with anybody. She is my number one priority. He had no respect for my relationship, saying I just could have called for a couple of minutes when my daughter Bella was here. No not happening, and none of the people in my life who know me at all, would ever say a word about my time with Bella. From that point we never really recovered, we talked again, but that the magic was gone. He was getting more overt with the sexual under tones and saying he wanted to marry me.
It is such a sad day, as we get older we don’t make as many new friends. Especially the kind that Frank and I were, so filled with potential and years and years to share together. We got each other to a point, but the physical is what killed us for sure. I was growing more disenchanted with him, and he was always taking our friendship to a place friendships don’t go. In my heart I think he could have cared less about the soulmate connection. It was the most important part of he and I being in each others lives. We were just so different as night and day. The particulars don’t matter, but our own life’s differences didn’t get in anyway, I thought wow more people should be ought to be friends with people much different themselves in everyday life. I have been rather angry and now I am so pissed. My girl wasn’t here last night and he called. We spoke for awhile and then he said, I need to tell you something will you give me two minutes? I said yes and this is how it went:
“Corey,I want to spend my entire life with just you sweetie. I love you more than anything in this world, and if you marry someone else it will be a big mistake.” I heard those words and I was both sad and angry. There was not an ounce of respect for any part of the important things in my life. This afternoon he calls to say hi. I was so so about talking to him. I knew in my heart, he wasn’t going to be able to be my soulmate, and after some of his awful behavior I really didn’t recover from his drama. So today, after I went to bed last nigt, with what he just said, and me not saying anything, he drove up and spent the night with someone he has known for a long time. And oh by the way for companionship reasons they are know in a relationship. Now Frank’s mental health is clearly an issue and needs to be addressed by professionals. I was so pissed that I have tried to respect his feelings without not being true to myself and to my girl. He just comes out and now he is in a relationship?? I could care less except for the grief he caused me on more than one occasion. I have to be careful not to say what I feel, he who I thought was truly special enough to be my soulmate, is nothing but a sleazy middle-aged guy. How did he think anything but friends was possible he is 10 years older than me? I cant say much more or else I will just be mean. He has been mean and selfish enough for the two of us. I hate to do it, but I have passed judgment and it is binding. I told him not to contact me, and I blocked him on facebook, I know he thought I would be nice once again and this would pass. This judgement is binding, he said he would mail my favorite movie I lent him 6 weeks ago. I texted one last time, and said keep it, no more contact whatsoever.
Funny I am not sad, the magic was really gone, and he was just being a dirtball sleazebag which fits his life story to a T. I am happy that is over, and I can be myself. My mistake was not wanting to make him mad, by what made me happy, which is my dream girl Stephanie. I feel this is a real turning point for me, I will not be letting anybody else into my life. My life is pretty amazing, and I cant take any chances. Lastly, what am I doing compromising myself? I know better than that, and that is what I need to focus on going forward today. I have no real ill-will just for his slimy greaseball guy antics, I thought in my life I would never experience them again. He fooled himself and he fooled me too
. I learned many lessons today for sure, the best that when I am pushed I fight back and don’t take horeshit from anyone. We are all old enough to respect each other as people. I see so many warning signs in hindsight. Now that I wrote about it, it is truly done. I cant wait to see my Stephanie tonight, and post my happiness on my facebook pages. I am grateful this happened so quick. Caught me off guard, not used to his behaviors but I handled it well and I came out much better than I was this morning. Thanks to the power of post-divorce therapy!