Our Country is Aimless on Fronts of Extremists Radicals

It once was that extremist radicals were only from other countries. Our nation is consumed rightfully so by Islamic Extremists who terrorize innocent victims.

What about the homegrown extremists when it comes to the LGBTQIA movement? What are we doing to stop these people?

Just think about it.

It is 2016 and people are happy, they are praising, they are holding signs saying their God finally killed the sinners….I am referring to 50 innocent people shot in cold blood for who they love are country seems to say. When are we going to get serious about domestic terrorism?

Why aren’t you talking about it? Why don’t you care?

Because it doesn’t affect you, you have all your rights and freedoms.

It doesn’t bother you that this not true for many people in this country.

They have no equality and they get murdered not just at Pulse, they get murdered in the streets, on the job, in their communities every freaking day.

How can we tolerate HATE of any kind.

Not asking for anyone to embrace the LGBTQIA asking for tolerance and parity.

What if one of them were your sister or brother?

Don’t be such a fool, we all are brothers and sisters.

Humanity has reached new lows when preachers are praising the killing of 50 innocent people and are not held accountable.

These are leaders…..people will follow.

Are you okay with another person either LGBTQIA or otherwise being murdered when they are completely innocent?

Get real-I know you- it doesn’t matter because you really don’t believe all people in this country desire the same rights, freedoms and equality.

Have you ever heard of a transgendered woman killing a woman in a bathroom?

This is getting hot, and soon you too will wear the blood of any more innocents that get killed or discriminated against.

Make this clear: The enemy is not just Islamic Extremists.

The enemy is also living freely in this very country.

By doing nothing you are saying a lot. We hear you loud and clear……..



Truth or Dare

I just figured out why all the chaos and mayhem in so many facets of our country today. We are playing a big game of Truth or Dare!

I won’t point out for you politically who is what and what represents whom. Headlines are being made each day regarding our candidates, and our President and the war on terror for that matter. It doesn’t get stranger or more complicated or does it?

This weekend is a big weekend for all kinds of news in our country. Gay Pride is scheduled to be celebrated in New York City, and I believe Hillary Clinton will be there. Will there be another awful massacre? I pray to God there isn’t. The candidates will undoubtedly make headlines for themselves, not quite in the way they hope to.

I think personally, Trump is starting to get roughed up a little unfairly. Yesterday he reached out to the LBGT community and gave a noteworthy speech, although he is against gay-marriage and will have it repealed if he is elected. He simply got asked a question, and his answer was simply. “Ask the gays.” This became a hashtag #goaskthegays  and went viral on twitter all through the day and night. You know I know Trump does not support the LBGT community but his answer was pretty benign to take the flack it did and so we need to carefully look at what we are doing.

Also noteworthy and if you want to know what makes me ireful  is Mr. Sanders. This weekend a bunch of his supporters are getting together somewhere out in the West to figure out their game plan. Obviously Mr. Sanders is not a party first guy, hey he just became a democrat for this this election for gosh sakes. Now he says he will work to defeat Trump, but he has yet to say he will help Hillary Clinton. Doesn’t matter who I want in office, there are protocols that politicians are supposed to follow. He has done none of them, except lay out his demands for the democratic party, which he just joined. Happy to have  such a decent man on the Democratic side, although he is not playing by the rules and it isn’t fair to those towing the party line.

By Sunday night there should be some interesting information from over the weekend and let’s all pray this doesn’t involve killing or shootings. In Chicago there were 35 shootings and 7 killed last weekend all because of race relations. Our civil rights movements of the African American and the LBGT communities, can’t take getting battered anymore than has happened.We need a weekend of peace on all fronts.


Born This Way-2016

Radical Will in Anorexia-Where I am Today!

There exists in me two very different but similar people. The first is me with anorexia, caught up in my mangled head of thoughts, the second is me, as I sit here right now, having just eaten and feeling really good.

Unfortunately the really good feeling will be replaced with many things. The first is guilt, then shame, the third is a stomach which will revolt, lastly this healthy eating will have me strip naked and get on the scale.

All this because I ate some hummus and some seasoned flatbread. Not really a good show of my recovery is it? I am much better than this. There are just some moments when I am alone, that my anorexia runs amuck. If Stephanie were up, my getting on the scale would not be possible. I can’t rely on others, to create a safety net for me to recover.

Sure they can encourage me, but when it gets right down to it I have to get my head untangled every moment from this insidious disease. I am worried now that I have past two years since I got very sick. I have improved a lot for sure, but the anorexia is still alive and breathing in me. It catches me at the weakest moments.

My anorexia is so opportunistic I can never count on a day free of guilt, or shame, or restricting in some way or fashion. It may not be  a lot like it once was, but clearly I am not as far along in my recovery. I have on a higher note been able to basically stabilize my weight.

It is because I finally got used to the gaining of 8 pounds. If I was healthy, I would have continued to add to the eight pounds. Instead of being at 100 pounds, I could be super well at 110 pounds. It was a choice and it was mine, I made the wrong choice once again. I thought hitting a solid 100 pounds would be the trick and the missing link to my recovery.

I now see how I am impede my recovery in so many different ways. I am going to write down a list for my eating disorders therapist, and email it to her. I think this is progress, calling myself out on my shit. Once I share with Pam, my therapist, I will have to answer all her relevant questions and need to explain the why I do what I do.

I just don’t want for her to see me as still really sick at 100 pounds. That is my biggest worry; that my medical team realizes I am still as sick, just at a higher weight, and they take measures to address it like another in-patient stay. No matter what I am not doing that again. Talk about setting my mind back, that is completely the wrong approach to take with me.

I was happy to learn from my team, the Radical Will for anorexia that we implemented has some merit to it in the long run. The weight restoration is the hardest part, and it is lagging further behind. However my mind has very healthy moments. I string a long many healthy moments about my eating, and I have even experienced eating on an occasion without guilt or shame or retribution.

My medical team thinks Radical Will is more effective on the mind, in returning to a quicker and healthier place than other therapies. I need to do a lot of writing for them about my journey. It isn’t telling my story it is what did I feel at say this specific visit, where was my head really because everyone knows we don’t utilize self-disclosure when it comes to our problems.

I am hoping today as I have written through my food angst, will be a day where I put two healthy eating experiences together. That would be so good if I just can do it. Hopefully the anorexic in me, will stay buried or is starting to die.

Thinking about my anorexia in those ways, I don’t know how I feel about that at all. Am I going to bury this illness or am I going to kill it slowly but surely? I know in my Radical Will. the whole idea is to kill the illness, at whatever pace it takes, to prevent relapse and getting sick again at a different time.

My medical team is certainly of the opinion that killing this anorexia is the only way to ensure  totally recovery. Radical Will is all about complete recovery, it hasn’t focused on weight restoration like these other therapies only seem to push. Most therapies equate recovery with weight restoration as its golden standard. Radical Will takes an entire different approach, it is about treating the disease in the mind.

It may seem like it doesn’t work or isn’t effective, but the changes in me are truly right down to the quick of my soul, they are not “new ” ways of thinking. We have worked really hard as a team, to build back my healthy mind that will not include anorexia. It is a tall order, put I can tell you the strides I have made, are here for good and I am not in any way going to fall back to old patterns. That is part of the reason for the team approach. I see so many people they can all stay on track with me.

It is why my weight gain is so grossly low. I am not at 80 pounds, so my life is not in imminent danger, it however can’t stay at 100 pounds. If I could get to 110 pounds that is my team’s goal as well as mine. I realize as they do, I do not hit the BMI chart. Though we have to have a reasonable goal that puts me in some safety. Before I got sick I was a slender and slim 130 pounds. I worked out and was nothing but lean muscle.

Today is a big day in my recovery, I am joining the gym to begin to work out with the thought behind that being I will be more hungry and my mind is fixated on having a most hard-core body. My medical team, is letting me join planet fitness, not my gym of choice, but with my travel schedule through the November elections, this should give me a chance to work out wherever I am in the country.

I am very excited and have met with a sports psychologist, who might actually be added to my team. I have my first day workout. Nothing major at all. Coupled with that is a change in my menu by my nutritionist, and a weigh in next Monday to see how I am doing. I get do 15 minutes on the treadmill, I still can’t run from my fractures and my two leg operations. I will be able to get in a mile at least and then I have sit-ups and push-ups I also need to do. We are going to focus on just my core. In case you are wondering, I can do a weak push-up- I tried them at home to see. My first two weeks of working out are two days on and one day off. On my day off I still have to eat my additional snacks and stretch and workout with my hard-core bands. I can walk Julia Bleu up to forty minutes after the first month of training is successful. If at any time I  lose weight, I am off the training, and the menu stays the same.

So needless to say I am excited about a lot things today. My girl Stephanie, is joining the gym with me, I think it will be so good to move my body, and use my muscles. I am very grateful for today, and pray with the work outs comes muscle gain, I really need. This is where Radical Will is so different than other kinds of therapies. It takes into consideration all of the parts of the mind and body, and tries to maximize each system unlike waiting for weight thresholds. Working out could prove to be key to my recovery, and putting it off indefinitely doesn’t make a lot of sense. So today I become an official gym rat who is going to beat this anorexia to death.



450 Species Have Homosexuality -Only One Has Homophobia

we as a culture didn’t want to see gay people getting married, or having the same rights as straight people.

we praised in our evangelical  churches when 50 people got murdered for who they loved.

we fought hard to fire gay teachers from our schools and our children, because we thought gay people were pedophiles.

we turned the other cheek, and looked the other way when gay people got beat up and murdered in the streets for who they loved.

we applauded states that didn’t pass equality for people just because of who WE loved.

we did not stand up and fight as a nation to protect jobs from people who love differently.

we did not approve of Gay Pride, because we never understood what Gay Pride was all about.

we hold those 50 dead people in the palms of our hands.

If we do not stop this hatred we will be holding hundreds more. we may think it is a good thing.

we made the signs that justified the killings using OUR God to say God punished WE the sinners.

Well there are two sets of we-WE. we who are responsible for the inhumane treatment and intolerant behavior above.

The other WE has put up with this before and ALL OUR ALLIES who support us. It will be war we will regret. God, WE God. we God. OUR GOD; doesn’t appease hate in any shape or form.

So WE will take back what is ours, and hold we accountable for those who died, and for those who may still die at the fate of your hands and hearts.

WE will not be undermined. God created us all to love one another.

WE won’t hate you or try to hurt we. God didn’t intend for us to act this way.

WE will go on this very weekend, To Gay Prides and not be afraid.

WE will march, sing, dance in the streets. Get used to it, because the Supreme Court did not go far enough, and we who applauded these killings, will not go unnoticed to the world.

WE will be sure that the government holds we accountable for being happy and applauding senseless murder in the same breath.

WE will still be out at gay bars.  Celebrating and loving those WE love.

we CAN COME BY AND KILL US.  we can be another hater who kills for love.

WE promise we God will not forget, that WE always loved we even when we were happy WE were dead or the promise of death was on our very doorstep- Like it is right now.

WE are glad to hear your hate. WE will be not make this mistake twice. WE will love who WE love, and in the end you’ll  just have to live to be a Hater in this society or even worse be ANOTHER murderer for LOVE.

450 species have homosexuality, only one has homophobia.



Let’s Forego a President and Figure Ourselves Out

These days it doesn’t matter whether you are a Democrat or a Republican, gay or straight or transgender. This country is filled with vitriolic hate, from one person right onto another. It doesn’t matter right now that we are in the chiasm of great peril with our two presidential nominees.

Saturday night we had our worst mass shooting ever in the history of this great country. Nobody is sure whether  Pulse the LBGT bar was targeted as a hate crime, or if this was the doings of  Muslim Extremists like ISIS. It doesn’t matter, we can’t agree even on basic gun control.

The NRA is a very powerful lobbying group, I have no side in this gun debate. My side is this: why does anyone need access to an assault weapon like the one used and purchased legally to kill over 50 people and injury 50 plus more? I can’t honestly see why these are available to the public.

Last night was the end of primary elections. Not sure it was even noteworthy. Our Congress can  not agree on a candidate for the Supreme Court. What the hell is wrong with this country? We don’t even have a full Supreme Court.

We also don’t have consensus among the political parties on who should really be our candidates for the President of the United States. Both parties will hold their conventions in July.  Nobody seems thrilled with the candidates chosen. Wow, if there is a contested convention on either side, we might just need the full Supreme Court to decide what goes where. What is going to happen as the Republican party is more and more upset with the primary winner Donald Trump. As of this morning he was blaming our president for being a part of the terrorist regimes that look to hurt innocent people over the world.  The top Republicans are besides themselves, they have waited and waited for Donald Trump to change. Then on the Democrat side you got Bernie Sanders refusing to concede in part because of what he says is voter fraud. Then you have Hillary under indictment by the FBI for her use of a private email server at her own home.  Throw into that the WikiLeaks founder is getting ready to release supposedly very damaging emails of Hillary Clinton, the Democratic nominee.

Really as a country could we be more than a bunch of monkeys in this circus? I don’t have an answer and neither does anyone else. The best I have  seen was a meme that said. “We as a country need to take a few years off from having a president while we figure ourselves out right. Too bad Congress and the Supreme Court couldn’t hold things together. Let Congress pass legislation and then send it to the Supreme Court for sign off. Sounds like a plan that would work for everybody. Let the Republicans find a real person to lead them, and let the email situation with Clinton work itself out.

Hey I don’t get paid for this, but I think I am on to something. Lets just take two years as a country to figure ourselves out. It is truly feasible including checks and balances. I know this won’t happen, but I am afraid of what really may go down. It scares me enough to look into political asylum to a country like France. Yes, don’t be surprised, I am going to find my passport and maybe give a try.

All in all this isn’t the least bit funny, we are a great nation of great people, who has lead the world for over 200 years.. We are on the brink of an internal collapse. What happens God  forbid, a country in the middle East starts to act up right now? We are in  no  position to take care of world business, this is America we must do better than what we are doing. Right now we are no help or a player internationally. We are actually the entertainment for the world to watch, and perhaps sadly an easy target for terrorists. I  urge you all to consider what is happening, and don’t sit back without getting involved. We owe it to ourselves, this Country’s history, and mostly our children who are going to pay the biggest price of us all.

-Corey Britton


What is Your Why?

I have been thinking about for sometime what is my why? Why am who I am, why do I things that I do and say, and the biggest why is why do I support causes and institutions of belief. I think many of us don’t have a lot of time to ask why? When we do, it is often in response to something outrageous or politically unsavory, or more against our own beliefs.

But how do we get our own beliefs as adults? We haven’t our parents or anyone else to take the blame. We are on our own as we make our way through this world. I know what I think of when I ask what is your why? Since I don’t work, and never would hold a regular job of any sort, why besides money do you do what you do for a profession each day? I wonder as I see people spending so much time at their jobs, away from their families, and not doing activities I think they would want to do.

Another one for me is children. I wonder why so many people who really don’t want to be full time parents, bring children into this world? So they can  go right back to work, and pay mere strangers to raise their children. There’s absolutely no judgments, I just see people whose lifestyles are not all that equipped for children. I believe having children is not for everyone by any means. I commend the professionals who admit that their professional lives are more important or too important to have a family.

Why is so basic, but quickly gets very complicated. We need more why in this world. Especially with the forbidden politics discussions. Why can get you all twisted and then give it a moment to simmer inside you, and then answer your truth. If you don’t have a why, you are missing an important part of being a person with a world filled with choices.  Give why a whirl and see what comes out of you. You might be surprised and it might take some time to figure it out. Do yourself the favor of why. It is a interesting part of who we all are. No two whys are alike.



Understanding Needed

After the primaries and the vitriolic nature of the candidates and the citizenry of this country, coupled with the murders in Orlando, I think we all need to come to a general understanding. The understanding I am talking about is grouping an entire group of a certain type of people  into a class, and making them bad or good.

We don’t know if the attacks on the Pulse nightclub were from Muslim Extremists or bigots of the LBGT community. Although it matters to how law enforcement and the people of the country respond, the fact of the matter Saturday night’s massacre was purely driven by hate. I am a member of that community whether I am gay or ally I still am a member. Those were all our brothers and sisters, out on Saturday night having a good time.

We have politicians in this country who are all seizing  on this very tragic event to move their own political agendas ahead. No I am not bashing only Trump, everyone one in politics is weighing in with their two cents. What about clear and simple mourning of these innocent victims? They did not deserve to die in such a way.

What does it mean in the coming days or weeks for that matter? I don’t think  we will ever have a clue if this was purely a hate crime or an act of terrorism We have people, preachers in fact, who are praising the shooter and the loss of 50 plus lives. This is not okay. It is not a normal healthy response to murder.

We are a very diverse nation, and we have to learn at last to live and tolerate one another. We do not have to be friends, or support everyone’s causes, but every American in this country deserves the right to live no matter the race, religion, sexual orientation or any other difference

I don’t like to think what comes next after such a dramatic event when so much is scheduled to give other haters a chance to cast their own hate on a group of people. Listen up, not every Muslim is bad, I don’t believe that for a second. Many Muslim groups have come out and denounced the shootings in Orlando. I think there are a large group of extremists that need our country’s vigilance and a whole lot more. The shooter in Orlando, had been investigated twice by law enforcement to see if he had any ties to any of the terror groups. Stuff like this just can’t happen, he was able to legal purchase a semi-automatic machine gun as well. Call me crazy, I have no opinion on gun rights, but nobody needs a semi-automatic machine gun. It serves to only kill large groups of people when it falls into the hands of the wrong people.

I am aware, that my life is not been compromised in any direct way, but let me tell you, none of us are safe. Hate is the root of this all, and now everyone hates the people they think are responsible for these actions. I promise you one thing:  hate does not win over hate.. Hate destroys as we have borne witness to in centuries of fighting. Hate never wins and what needs to happen is so damn big, I shudder to think what it would take for this country, to change its views and just look at people  regardless of what labels they wear, and treat them solely as human beings. Give everyone the same rights, instead of  making this so politically divisive that it makes groups of people stand out for the wrong reasons. Why does it have to be about religion, or gender, sexual orientation or such? It makes no difference.

This is the United States, we are granted freedoms and liberties and without another moment’s hesitation, all American citizens should be given the same equalities. Without having to go before the Supreme Court, and making this a divisive conversation for our country as a whole.

Just grant equal rights promised to us, and let all Americans have the same rights and freedoms. It is not fair when a minority group does not have equality; to make their rights into a debate. That wasn’t what our forefathers were thinking when they wrote the Constitution and the first 10 items, which are the Bill of Rights.