Yesterday was one of the worst single days in my life. For starters I took a fall from upon four steps on my porch and missing all the steps in between landed smashing knee caps first on the pavement. Oh yeah, and I fractured my wrist again.
That was part of it and like the saying goes, “Was it the worst day ever or was it a lousy 20 minutes?” No yesterday was one of the worst days.
Everything I have on my plate converged into the perfect storm of mayhem and unknown. My injuries were huge and as I sat in the hospital by myself in agony I decided I was truly done with all of THIS.
All of this includes my injuries, anorexia, and the campaign. All are causing me major grief that I decided yesterday was going to stop. Nope didn’t make yesterday my bitch, but surely won’t miss out on the opportunities presented daily to do so.
In the midst of my injuries and pain I had some monumental breakthroughs. I realized I am going to be on the road to well and I didn’t wait until today. I started yesterday. I was feeling so bad for myself and my injuries but I was so lost in other minutia of my life.
Being out of school is not in my best interest and I am going to campus today to sign up for classes for the fall. I can’t be out and away from school any longer as it isn’t good for me personally or mind-wise. I miss thriving and thriving is not what I am quite doing at the moment.
The campaign is difficult. I want to believe Clinton and see her win the presidency. However I have lost I my lost my steam and tolerance for all my hard work for her and her lack of true accountability on the email front.
The other day I thought I was working for the next president of the United States. Then the House swoops down and demands the Clinton FBI interview for possible perjury. Really? This email-gate has been under some sort of investigation for two years by the State Department and the FBI. With Julian Assange carefully unloading more and more Clinton emails to damage her this is an everyday seesaw event Clinton doesn’t control. But I hold her now accountable for clearing the air completely owning whatever she did wrong and leaving the American people without a doubt of her integrity in this matter. If no one else is going to demand it, I am! Not going to work on a campaign that is only as good as the next bombshell of emails to come by way of Assange and WikiLeaks.
Everything boils down to perspective, right? Well yesterday for a solid hard moment my life appeared really shitty to me, and made me realize how far from my authentic self I was living and had traversed. I pitied myself for a long moment and thought about all that lay ahead of me with even just my anorexia and injuries.
I refused to accept that as my life yesterday for not a minute longer. I am Corey, and I have big goals and dreams that I have always been successful in accomplishing. Where were they yesterday or the day before? I was just merely surviving and that is not Corey’s way.
I decided yesterday with the attitude of Radical Will that helped me through anorexia that I was done with all my horse crap and that I was not settling for what I was staring at in front of me.
Just like that I changed. I think when things like that happen we are at a breaking point or cross-roads. I chose to make yesterday my last worst day. I am not even going to discuss the work and pain that lays in front of me.
I am taking Corey back, and doing justice to Corey. I will get threw all that lays ahead of me in my authentic self living, my truth, and not ever surrendering to a cause that brings me down.
No I am not high or manic, in fact I feel more grounded and solid then I have been in a long time. Yes there is a road in front of me. I am not denying it, but yet I deny succumbing to it at any cost.
I will be forty in less than two months. I have a lot to do in these months to roll into forty feeling good, living authentically with intentionality. The intentionality is key I believe to successful human existence. Most people talk about the authenticity, your Truth, and moving forward. For me and one of the things that has set me apart from others is my intentionality to my life and living it as I pursue my goals and journey to destinations unknown.
So today and everyday is going to be “MY BITCH.” I am going to work it for all I can. Sure there are realities like my health I don’t control but I surely control them a lot more than I have in a couple of years. So my pity party was yesterday in case you missed it. I hope you don’t miss my Phoenix rising from the Ashes. As you can tell, I have done this before.
BORN THIS WAY-2016