Being a person with pure mania since birth I am an experienced psych patient who today marvels that a beautiful friend is safe and whole and may have found something bigger. He is coming out of his first psych stay and he is so excited to tell me everything: from the people to who he is. I smile and I am happy for him as I have long known the majik that can go on in a psych ward.
I am not your typical patient as I am there solely to sleep because the rare pure mania I suffer from robs me of my body’s ability to shut down, turn off, and say good night.
It gives me so much more than I could ever hope for. My gift of writing, of telling a story in great detail, and I cherish my writing more than I do any other pursuit in my life beside being a parent.
My rooms are filled with journals written on to the back cover. My mind, never quiet, has a lot to say and through my lifetime of writing I have turned a mostly visual world into prose.
My friend marvels at the people similar yet different to him. He is filled with wonderment that this is all new and to him it is, but to others we have been living and thriving and writing and painting the world in color for a long time.
Many did it long before I or my friends did, and long ago it was not a good or safe place for anyone to be as the mental mystique I like to call it rather than illness was once not only not understood but misunderstood.
Today life is filled with colorful people and I learned they didn’t need to be a card carrying mental mystique person to add color to this world. Surely it happens more often than not that the mental mystique is involved and sometimes it isn’t all wonderment and color it can be sad, frightening and go terribly wrong for some people.
Today I focus on the wonderment and the special gifts the mental mystique can bring.
I speak best about myself as I think most of us do. Mania has given me additional hours during the night that healthy people use to sleep and recharge. I use the ‘maniac’s hours” to create. Using through writing but not always. I sometimes do surprise even myself.
I wouldn’t be me without my mania where I begin and the mania stops I can not discern. I hope always that my mania doesn’t cause grief to others. So many people with mental mystique have hurt themselves or their loved ones in one way or another.
Tonight I am reminded why I am Corey and what that means to the world. Hopefully a lot more than mania I am far more than my mental mystique.
I look forward to getting up after a few hours and writing feverishly until the sun rises, and even then I may continue.
I reminisce tonight about all the amazing people I have met at the psych ward; truly beautiful and gifted souls. I am grateful for all my experiences. I learn something new about myself every time I visit to fall asleep.
It won’t be long before I am writing again. Just mere hours. I am grateful that my friend found the help he needed as well as maybe a new home. We never know. I just am so glad he got the help he needed and he will figure the rest out.
I will return soon to write through the maniac’s hours. I created a following of people who look for my post and email me questions. I am always willing to answer an email or a comment. firstname.lastname@example.org Let me know what you are thinking.