I have missed the maniac’s hours for over three days and have not properly taken my golden elixir as prescribed by none other than me.
I have made up for the lost maniac’s hours by taking Adderall and coffee around 10am instead which are just normal hours, and the affect of the golden elixir is not all that incredible to say the least.
I have been able to blog through it nonetheless and with the Divine Intervention of God and perhaps the Angels which I am still unsure of, I have been posting some decent work, and today, although really off course for blogging, I was able to do the WordPress photography challenge without skipping a beat.
I took a picture of the foliage yesterday that was brilliant and had pretty much decided I wanted to use it in this week’s photography challenge regardless of the prompt. Much to my surprise and delight the prompt was entitled “Local” and that was perfect for my backyard lawn picture of the tree I captured. I was delighted and got right on it, despite having my second blog of the day really nagging at me.
I began blogging my third part of my spiritual life for my new blog Finding the Sacred in the Ordinary, but it hasn’t been lifted off the ground yet. It is waiting for me but I first must decide what potion I am going to ingest to fuel myself through a couple hours of writing. I am long over due for pain pills, and that remains a viable option but so does another round of the golden elixir sound good, and maybe more beneficial.
I know, I know, picking my potion is maybe not the most ideal idea I have ever conjured up, but today, right now, it suits me perfectly.
The golden elixir or pain pills is the question right now at this moment.
Why maybe you ask do I need any potion? Truth is I am due for a potion of some sorts both Adderall and pain pills. So to make the decision easier I was going to utilize the potion which would benefit my writing the most.
I am unaware of the benefits of writing with newly ingested pain pills. I know they affect my mind and bring to a Euphoric state of being. I don’t know if it directly transfers over to my writing. So I write about the potions without either of them flowing through my veins and more time being wasted without the bright pink pills, or oval white pills.
Well I took the Adderall and coffee and I did not write a word for the last two hours. I don’t know what that means. The golden elixir was not golden this afternoon, but I chose the correct medication I believe that befits my main issue of pure mania. Having frustrating conversation with person, with bipolar who is trying to tell me that we are sharing the same mania. Unfortunately the mania of bipolar is not like pure mania. Bipolar mania is on and off with all kinds of many various emotions mixed into the algorithm and with pure mania and Mania Madness is always on without ever an off switch; it doesn’t exist and it never stops. I don’t like discussing mania with a bipolar person for the exact reason of this argument of mania that does not compare on any level in every way it can manifest itself in being with bipolar and I have yet to meet a person with pure mania.
I only dream of having an off switch and a moment of rest from the fire that burns so heavily and hard in my mind is of some comfort after the one time I thought I lost my fire and thus, I thought I lost myself.
Speaking in terms of binary and o and 1 and rapid speed of computers as brains doesn’t have any idea what pure mania is like. We are rare and I haven’t ever had the gift of meeting another pure maniac. I am tired of the conversations that compares and contrasts energy levels. I need to just leave it be and let it be as I get frustrated with people who have the medication to sleep and turn off the switch which I don’t have the ability to rest and sleep with any medication, as there is no medication for those with pure mania. I am done with this pissing contest. People with bipolar are in their own world that is not comparable. Trying to compare ourselves to one another is a purely bad idea.
Now because of that conversation my brain is #AMPED up and I have no chance of rest or sleep. I will spend the evening readying myself for the maniac’s hours when the golden elixir will work and I will be hyper-focused on my writing and what is in front of me.
I am going to take my pain pills to quell the bone searing pain in my legs, and hopefully get going on the blog on my spiritual life that awaits me. I am awaiting the affects of the medication but should try to begin writing my blog post now before I have zero positive energy and I have nothing more to quell the demons and gremlins.
I know what I need to do and I will do it while the person with bipolar goes to bed for a normal night’s sleep. Yeah, we are alike……NOT! I yearn for medication to sleep to turn the switch off for 6-8 hours.
BORN THIS WAY-2016