It is Sunday October 16, 2016 and I am getting ready to go out with my family for dinner to celebrate my daughter Bella’s birthday early.
I have lots to write about and get from my brain to this electronic page and your eyes for consumption. Sounds easy enough and it really isn’t that difficult as I continue to blog daily at least two posts, and I am at almost 400 posts since my commitment on May 1, 2016. It isn’t easy when you are healthy or healthy but sick with pure mania to write daily whether the mood or the situation suits me.
I am a writer, and therefore I write-every day multiple times not including all the off-line writing I do that will eventually make it into a post. I require very little by way of a writer. I need a writing space which when I was building my study, the entire room was designed around my craft I still am trying to hone. My desk which is the epicenter of my writing is glass with metal supports and fits perfectly near the window.
On my desk is one of many laptops I change my use of and a printer as well as a good dictionary and thesaurus. I have the perfect lamp on the top shelve of my desk, and that is all I require to write no matter what time of day or night it may be. I write from my heart and soul, unless research is involved, and I never draft a blog on paper except when something comes to me and I have no other means to capture my thoughts. As long as my desk is clean, save a coffee cup or a bottle of my favorite new addiction, orange soda, I can write. Noise, time of day, Flat screen, movie or music playing or even holding a conversation with someone is all within the realm of possibility when I am writing.
When you write as much as I do, you need to be flexible and given the amount of writing I have done, there isn’t anything I let interfere or use as an excuse not to blog to my readers and followers.
For it is you, the reader, that I feel I owe myself and my writing to everyday at least twice a day. Today this post will have to be interrupted to go out for Bella’s birthday. However regardless of what time I get home or how tired I am, I will be so happy to write to you, all of you.
My new blog Finding the Sacred in the Ordinary has really taken off and I know it is because of you my readers that I have followers so quickly on that site. I will stop here and write what I set out to say upon my return from my daughter’s birthday celebration.
The progress I want to write about involves the very undoing of my religious paradigm and changing it enough to change from unwavering faith to wavering faith. The ability and willingness to yield sowed ground for land that has yet to be tilled is a gift from my God and is all related to finding the sacred in the ordinary. I am strong enough to give up my unwavering faith and give way to a list of questions of unknowns that leave me with less than comfort and more with uneasiness.
I have even acquired the newly minted study bible my ex-wife bought for me a couple years ago when she challenged me to truly read the bible to truly call myself a true Christian if I could wrap my mind around it.
I was gracious in my receipt of the book and put it away as not to mess up my own unwavering faith that I concocted with my God and my Holy Trinity. I knew the real bible would push me far from unwavering faith, and the coziness I derived from my schematic of God and the Divine was to be challenged and rightly so. I don’t like being once again with unwavering faith, but I am forty ready and willing to face the Truths I have alluded not because I didn’t believe them to be true but because I was now ready to tackle the harder questions that the Holy Bible introduces to me and my mind that is based on simple beliefs and thoughts that I was able to accept with unwavering faith and at that time was not a challenge like the Holy Bible represented to me and my persona in the bigger picture.
I am going to work very hard at attaining once again the unwavering faith I so desire and need as part of my spirituality and read with due-diligence the Holy Bible in its entirety and praying to the God above and the Holy Trinity that I can attain unwavering faith even despite the knowledge I will attain in the Holy Bible that eluded me and my psyche when I failed to read the Bible without judgment. It was very judgmental of me and very unchristian like of me to read the Bible and pass judgment on my beloved God for his rightful anger in in the book of Genesis at mankind and humanity for ruining god’s attitude and teachings to those peoples that first ran amuck on the earth of God. I have come to understand through eyes wide shut and my soul open to the teachings of God, if you so believe.
I know many of you don’t believe in God and the Divine and I am certain I can’t nor do I want to change any one’s mind or soul that is not ripe for turning to belief of some sort. I know nothing more than I what I have shared here in believing and I hope you will follow me on this journey and stay around long enough to see where I end up in the end.
I am filled with hope and light that in reading the Bible in a scholarly way I will be enlightened and will be free of my wavering faith once and for all.
I look forward to getting into bed and reading the Bible tonight and letting the Divine words over take me and cover me in a Divine veil of fully knowing and understanding my God, our God for what he truly is to the people who believe him, along with Jesus teachings, and the words of the Apostles. I have never been big enough or real enough to face the teachings of the Bible and the spoken words of God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit to meet the level of sanctity that is required to make a change and keep things Divine with the everlasting chance of Grace.
This is just my words and aren’t meant to scare or turn you off in any way shape or form. I tried denial once, and now through DIVINE Intervention I am once again rereading the Bible and never will I suggest anyone pays into it although I truly think at some point in your life you may come to realize the words, prayers, and the teachings are not meant to offend or turn away people but quite the opposite to bring them together in our own little ways; all believer, non believers, and those that just don’t know!
BORN THIS WAY-2016