Yesterday was a whirlwind of day, that had me on a merry-go-round from dusk to dawn.
It started out with a pall. A feeling of utter illness, from my head to my stomach to everything in between. I don’t know what came over me but it was the devil’s flu to say the least.
I was off all day, and went from laying down to getting up, and just not able to find a comfortable place to rest or do anything else.
I got the news I was expecting from the podiatrist, that he won’t be able to do my surgery on my bunion. This is highly personal and unprofessional, and sets my surgeries back. I now have to go to a new sports medicine clinic and get the straightforward surgery that poses no complications done. I am contemplating moving all my care to another sports medicine clinic just for cohesiveness.
I am disappointed, but the breakdown in our interpersonal relationship made this surgery almost impossible. He went back on his word, after giving me specific instructions to move forward with the surgery was straightforward and emphatic. I did what he required, and then he changed his mind, and told me this was complicated and needed to be reviewed. Out of no where this came and with no feasible rationale to his change in mind.
I was aggravated but knew this would be the outcome so it was go to get the final answer and move on and forward. I was at the point where I didn’t want him to operate given what had transpired between us, so I am glad I guess that there is closure and I can get an evaluation appointment today with another clinic.
So on top of the devil’s flu, the cancellation of my bunion surgery, and a day where I couldn’t get my head on straight, no matter what I did, I had to go to my Bella’s volleyball championship late in the afternoon and find a ride out to the match. Right when I was finally getting sleepy and finally able to rest, I had to grab a cab out to the volleyball championship and watch on pins and needles, while Bella’s team lost in a 2 out of 3 match. It was a bummer as they lost in the third game by two points. They had a great season and have nothing to be ashamed about. However, when you are in eighth grade it seems like the end of the word.
Bella was very nervous and played nervous as they all did. They had already beaten this team in three games in the regular season giving them their only loss, so they should not have been scared.
Being a division 1 full-scholarship athlete I don’t get nerves, or playing scared. We are all different and have different experiences, but it is something I can’t relate to.
I then got a ride home from my ex-wife and we took Bella out to her favorite Mexican restaurant and enjoyed ourselves completely. Bella was able to turn her mind around and really bask on the great season they put together.
I then got dropped off at home and was cold with the rainy, raw weather impending and the winds beginning to blow.
I got Julia Bleu all settled and fed and got ready for bed and got myself all warm and comfortable in my delightful bed.
I got out my journal I am writing to God, and wrote for a few hours. I was writing about the evolution in my persona and my attitude towards life and my future as I now welcome God and the Holy Trinity as my God and my Holy Trinity. I was so comforted writing to God last night and working through my trials and tribulations with my body injuries and my discomfort with my podiatrist.
I have a new lightness of being in my breathing and my constitution and I have come to realize I was really in a dark place that was far away from the light. Light eluded me to such a degree that I didn’t even know the light I was missing, and I thought life was just pretty bland really at this point. I wasn’t down but I wasn’t high or over the moon, I just was. Now I know with my soul filled with the Divine that I have a lightness of being in my step and my soul’s life is brighter and I am never left feeling alone or without companionship.
I was NEVER depressed ever by any means, I have Pure Mania but I was sort of flat so to speak.
I can’t explain the fusion in my heart and soul and the difference other than a quiet veil of peace that covers my being and comforts me at all times.
I look so forward to writing in my journal to God as I try to make time every night to write and read the Bible a little each night or during the day as a time of solace and revelation.
I am so very grateful for finding the unwavering faith that both the Bible brought me as well as my Divine change of mind that steered me in the direction of God and the Holy Trinity.
I am so over the top happy. Not an ecstatic happy, but an inner-deep happy like I think my pug feels when she is curled up on my lap. I think it is something like that, and I pray for every day as I become more involved with my faith that I experience this to a deeper level on a plane that I have never experienced. The beauty of my unwavering faith is I KNOW there is a plane I have yet to transcend or more than one plane I haven’t experienced.
I ended a really negative day on the best note! Ending with a warmth in my soul and God in my heart I can’t think of a better way to end a bad day, and I look forward to essentially setting up every night with the hopes of ending my day with the Bible in my hand in God and the Divine in my soul.
BORN THIS WAY-2016