Six Months of Recovery

I have been missing from this page for over a month as I have been deep in my addiction(s) recovery! Monday September 18th, God willing will mark 6 months of hardcore recovery from opiates, Xanax, Adderall, and Valium. And oh by the way, I had my foot reconstructed on July 20th, without any opiate use where they re-broke my foot!

 

I would be lying to say I don’t miss the Xanax and Adderall. I certainly do, but I love my steadfast recovery even more than the pharmaceuticals.

 

Gone is the early morning “golden elixir” of Adderall and coffee. Oh how I miss those early morning elixirs and blogging, but my health and well-being, including soundness of mind are so much, much better for this journey I have embarked on within recovery.

 

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It is now past September 18th, and I made it to six months of recovery! Wow, fucking hardcore shit! Nearly killed me, but I am a new person with a brand new lease on my life.

 

It is funny, the hardest thing to give up during this summer was the alcohol. I equate warmer weather with vodka tonics and other thirst-quenching drinks. I have been in a bar on a couple of occasions and really had to work at not imbibing. Of course, I am not going to wreck my sobriety for something as minimal as alcohol.

 

My body and mind are healing rapidly but so much damage was done with the use of pharmaceuticals and in the detoxes. Although it has only been six months, I see and feel a lot better but still have a journey of healing to contend with.

 

My anorexia is rearing it’s ugly head as I put on 17 pounds in recovery, and now turn to my last addiction for solace and control.

 

I am still on medical leave from school, although I just built my first computer from scratch. It was on my bucket list so I am pretty stoked about it.

 

Stephanie and I are great and today the cable guy is coming to install cable as I haven’t had it in many years. Going to lay on the couch after he leaves and veg out to MSNBC!

 

I never thought I could make it without pills, and sometimes hard, difficult feelings creep up which I would like to numb with a pill or two but those days are over. My birthday is weeks away and this is the healthiest I have been in over a decade.

 

I don’t know about school. I have job offers that are outstanding, and feel the need to stay deep in the recovery process until the next phase of physical and mental issues abate. If the healing in the second six months is anything like the healing in the first six months, it will be crazy dope. Did I mention dope? Lol!

 

On July 1st, I decided to give myself a full year to recover. I, however, am inpatient. I will eventually find school again, but have met someone in recovery who has offered me my dream job of dream jobs. He says whenever I am ready-surely not today, but probably by next June 30th, when my year dedicated to recovery is coming to a close.

 

Recovery will always be a part of my life’s story, but I am not in any way a lifer at these meetings. There are two recovery centers within waking distance to my house, holding over 100 recovery meetings a week. One is new non 12-step recovery, and the other is more traditional 12-step recovery. I like both, and believe both have their place.

 

My writing will be picking up, as I learn to wake up earlier again as my body starts to require less and less sleep to heal.

 

Great to be back! Peace and quiet riots…..

 

Corey

 

-BORN THIS WAY-2K17