Progress is being made on all fronts of my life besides my eating-the one I need to make the most and quickest progress on.
I am moving ahead with my injuries and scheduled for surgery this coming week or next week. We are just awaiting approval from my insurance company. I pray that it is this week but know realistically it is probably next week. I will begin the month long recovery through it and get ready for my major operation on my other leg. My second surgery is much more invasive and has a recovery time I think of 6 months. Yes, pretty bad I will admit.
Those two surgeries are on my legs and this week I meet with the doctor to go over my thumb which seemingly requires reconstruction too. I am not sure how this is going to play out and I don’t know whether or not I am going to opt to go through with it. The drawback is it is my hand and I don’t want to give up any mobility in it but at the same time I don’t know where it fits in with my leg surgeries.
I am making good progress with the Clinton campaign. I have tied into the local office and made contact with the local Democrats. I like going into the office to work. The comradery is nice and I have gotten to meet some pretty interesting people like Tim Kaine and the founder of Emily’s list.
I don’t know about switching jobs and being a fellow for the fall. I seem to have more autonomy now and greater control over my work schedule. I don’t want to lose that but I don’t want to pass on being a fellow as it would look really good on my CV or Prezi! I have to figure it out and also do my homework on both positions. If I plan on staying in politics the fellow is probably the way to go.
I have made an appointment to see Pam, my eating disorders therapist. She is essential
l to me and my road from hell to well. I am essential from my road to hell to well. I need to do this no one else can do it for me! I dug this hole two long tiring years ago and I need to climb out of it eating healthfully and closer to normal than ever before. I feel the pressure is really on because my loved ones think I am doing so much better and truly I am not. I think that is what is bothering me most the gap between what people think and what truly is…. I can only start today where I am and take this arduous road one day at a time. I know I sound like a broken record and I feel like one too. I am so pathetic and there is going to be a lot more eating with my family and Bella with my birthday coming up and celebrating with friends. I feel for Stephanie because her heart and mind has never gotten a break…..I never fooled her or eased her worries…..it is very sad to me and I love her very much. For her and for Bella I can’t lose sight of them.
When it comes to the house I have made minimal progress for Stephanie’s move in. I have a ton of stuff to do and clear out to a storage unit. Stephanie too needs a place or unit to start moving her things in as she packs up her life to be with me.
The engagement is coming along and is set for Columbus day weekend. I haven’t made specific get away plans and I certainly can’t write about them here lest it won’t be a surprise. Suffice it to say I have big plans in store for that weekend. My what a difference a year makes! Last Columbus Day weekend was awful as I was getting to know a junkie who would come into my life and cause me great pain as a person. She wasn’t humane and had no empathy except for herself which doesn’t make any sense since empathy is something you feel towards others. Suffice it to say, she could only care and think about herself. It was impossible try as I may to get any kind feelings out of this person. Now a year later I am getting ready to get engaged to the person I was denying my love for- for two years and I have stopped fibbing to myself and others and especially her about my true romantic feelings for Stephanie. We are so happy!
Julia Bleu continues to rule the roost as she is all curled up in a ball on my lap as I type. My Bella continues to grow and flourish and we are so damn proud of her it isn’t funny. WE are so blessed to have such an amazingly kind and super child. She is the highlight in my life and my ex wife’s life.
That about sums it up, progress yes, progress no……
I take the challenge of today and make it mine. I will come back tonight and report on my day especially my eating and the Clinton campaign.
BORN THIS WAY-2016