Neither of us were up for it but we pushed through it and we both felt good afterwards.
I came home and the first thing Stephanie said was, “You’re calmer.” I thought about it and realized I was. I don’t know what is going on but I spent last night watching the pre-debate stuff and then the debate.
I was more relaxed and my speech was improved and Stephanie said it was a marked change.
We watched the debate and to my surprise it was interesting to say the least. I won’t get into my own commentary but I am very glad I watched it.
We went to bed at like 11 pm and I was up by 1:15 am. I hobbled to the store and got my coffee to go with my Adderall and spent the entire maniac’s hours posting and responding to vitriolic hate messages about the debate. I won’t do it again but it was something I needed to do this morning.
There is a very unstable man I am at war with over his disrespect and off message overtures that are filled with vitriolic hate. He professed at the beginning of the night that he was going to clean his toilet and proclaimed himself the most productive person in America. Except he couldn’t do it-he kept tossing in jabs and for somebody who didn’t care he spent an awful lot of time posting. He is not well and unstable and this morning he lowered himself to name calling-I am all set with that!
I am somewhat back to being myself and feel like I could fly away with Stephanie. I am happy, upbeat, and centered. I haven’t felt this way since before I got sick.
I am going to call John Hopkins today and see what they have to say. It is as if this spell of sorts is running its course.
I am ecstatic to be almost through to the other side without a trip to the hospital. I am so grateful for my mental change and demeanor which is much closer to my normal self.
I am going to take my Adderall as prescribed and not worry about my pressured speech. Yesterday I was consumed by it and it really set me back in many ways.
I am bracing myself cautiously incase things start to change or escalate again.
I would fly high and free today if it were possible but I will stay grounded with the mere mortals.
I feel still very creative and have a short piece of fiction I want to post. I posted my non-blogging post last night and I hope to get some good responses.
Writing for a different medium when I have been solely blogging since May is daunting to say the least.
I am very relieved to put it mildly that my brain while still on fire is definitely more manageable and I am not so worried. I think it is in my best interest to still go to John Hopkins and be evaluated by the neurologist.
I am feeling grateful and really happy that this is subsiding to some degree. I am also happy that my foot appointment for surgery is scheduled a week from today on my birthday. I need to get things going and moving forward for all that remains in front of me. I say with all due respect that I am flying today, as my demeanor is different and my spirits are high.
I suggest everyone think about flying today. Whether it is a major flight or just a little one, dare to dream and to think out of the box we are enclosed in. We are all better off when we are free to dream and actually act on those dreams.
Yesterday I wasn’t dreaming. I was down and out in the trenches and it was not a fun time or a good day to say the least.
Dream big, soar high and Peace Out!
BORN THIS WAY-2016