Well I feel complete and armed for the new President elect Trump. I just went out and bought a package of safety pins and promptly affixed one to my sweater. I will be wearing a safety pin everyday for the next four years at least in solidarity of those who are going to face discrimination and the inequality of rights.
On a personal note I know I never said much here, except stopped writing about her and I but Stephanie is on her way over right now as I write. I have pushed her away and tried to use every possible excuse as a reason not to spend my life with her and it has all been about Corey being scared of having it all with the most stellar woman in the universe.
We talked last night for hours and she wanted to come over then, but I asked her to wait so I could change my bed and pick up a bit as I have been living like a bachelor these last days of the campaign and since election day I have been doing as little as possible besides trying to blog, see my Bella, and take care of Julia Bleu. The last thing I wanted is for Stephanie to come back home to where she belongs and start cleaning like I know she would.
So we talked and we talked and she is so happy! She said she never doubted I would come around to my senses it was just when, and she is so happy it is before the holidays.
I have missed Stephanie greatly and I am so excited that I know in my heart without a doubt she and I are supposed to be together and move forward with our lives together. I am so happy she put up with my shit and gave me the space and time I really never needed if I thought about it for two seconds. I mean really she is my very best friend and has been for over two years and I have never gotten as close to someone as I have with Stephanie except for maybe with my ex-wif3e, who is still a big part of my life.
I am so over the moon happy we talked last night and Stephanie decided she did not want to get all into it- she understood and just asked to be sure that I hadn’t done anything crazy like be with someone else. Of course that was never a consideration and I told her I wasn’t surprised she asked but I did want to know if she really thought I would do that. She said she was just asking she didn’t ever wonder about it she just wanted to ask that one question and she was very happy I hadn’t even thought of another person at all.
I can’t wait to pick up where we left things and enjoy one another today and the rest of the weekend. Tonight we are going out to eat with my Bella and ex wife and they will be very happy to see Stephanie. I had to rush around this morning and find her a plane ticket to Florida for Thanksgiving!
We leave the 21st of the month and I have surgery on my finger on the 17th. Everything is all set except Julia Bleu I am still working out the kennel arrangements.
I am looking forward to finally accepting my life as it is supposed to be and getting on with us getting engaged and finally moving in together.
I have no doubt I have spent my last night alone, except for the night before we get married. I know we aren’t even engaged yet but Stephanie loves it at my place and I know we will not be a part for any length of time.
I have really been pulling a Corey with Stephanie and she deserves much better than I have given her the last two months.
I have played the player without getting involved with anyone to make sure I could still do it even though my heart was so into Stephanie.
I met a beautiful and smart person along the way that made me think and they are exceptional in their own right but live very far away and their life is very complicated to the point where they are struggling to stay happy and I can’t do anything from here and I am not going there. My hope although I am sure they know in their heart that I belong with Stephanie, is that they are expecting this from me. We have been speaking less and less and I don’t know all the details of their life just enough to know my life is here in with Stephanie and I will always think the world of this person it just wasn’t ever supposed to be anything more than it was which it was friendship. I know they know all about Stephanie from reading my blogs and such and I mentioned to them that I wanted to talk to Stephanie and they were eager to see how things went. I think I will send an email personally to them and let them know before they read it in a blog. Nothing ever happened nor did I lead anyone on, but people will take what they want from any given situation. I will be sad if this person doesn’t want to be my friend but it will just show me then that we never were friends. They have admitted not wanting to hurt Stephanie and mentioned what a super friend she is to me and how I must really miss her. I will miss this exceptional person with whom I grew quite close over the course of a couple months but I know and to be fair to everyone including myself I need to get things back on track with Stephanie. I basically left here hanging mid air weeks before we were to get engaged and we were set to move in together for November 1st.
Well Stephanie arrived at 4 pm and I was so happy to see her! I missed her more than I realized. We hugged a long hug that neither one of us would let go of and just took a few minutes to let ourselves be without nary a word between us. She came into the house and exclaimed, “Corey!” I said, “What?” Knowing she was commenting on the state of my home. She said, “You are not the only one who missed me. Your house is need of some Stephanie care and cleaning which I will take care of tomorrow.” I laughed because I knew if I told her I had picked up she would really die. I told her I changed the bedding and she said as she walked into the bathroom with the laundry, “How bad is your laundry? Oh my gosh Corey have you washed anything since I left?” I muttered with a smirk that I had done one load of laundry and that it looked a lot worse with the addition of the bedding change.
We hung out and made vodka tonics and waited for my ex-wife to pick us up at 7 pm. My ex-wife and Stephanie get along super well and that is a bonus!
Dinner was super great and I told everyone about the new Facebook group I started with my dear friend Michelle, called Rainbow nation. I needed a group to join to protest and actively write letters and I couldn’t find one that fit my goals and needs so my friend Michelle and I started Rainbow Nation. It is less than two days old with over 250 members and we are going to bring like minded Democrats together to fight for equality for all especially the LGBTQIA community and the often left out without any protection, the transgender community, Some of us will be heading to Washington in January to protest and also participate in the million women march as well. My daughter Bella is very excited and I feel like we are doing something to get our rights protected and pushed forward in the heat of the new President elect Trump. Stephanie and my ex wife are really into it.
After a great dinner and dessert, my ex wife dropped Stephanie and I off at my place and we huddled in out of the chilly night air and ended up making night caps of Baileys on the rocks. It was perfect. I wasn’t tired at all of course and explained to Stephanie just how bad my Mania Madness has gotten and she suggested we lay down in bed and watch a movie on Netflix. So we did that and I was stone awake but Stephanie was worn out and I think so relieved to be back at my house where we both belong. She eventually fell asleep in my arms and I held her for a long time as tears of happiness and sadness for putting her through my crap made me sad to think how she didn’t ever deserve it. I finally got up and kissed her on the forehead and I covered her all up and headed out to the study to gather my thoughts and begin to finish this blog.
I took Julia Bleu to the store and we got a coffee latte and I came home and took it with my Adderall and felt like a million dollars for a bit as the Adderall calmed my fire in my head and I could think straight and without hesitation as I could keep up with my thoughts although they were still racing right on by.
I was so happy Stephanie was asleep in the next room and I thought about my friend who is probably going to be sad or maybe not at my getting back together with Stephanie. I received a picture from her this morning and it was strawberries and cream she said she wished we could share, but she never called and we haven’t been talking at all really and that was when I knew I was spinning my wheels and making Stephanie wait for what? This person is kind and pretty and bright and I adore her we are just not meant to be more than what we ever shared which was friendship and mutual adoration for one another.
I am so happy Stephanie is back and I can’t wait for morning to get here and I will go snuggle with her where I have missed her so much.
Today we are going to the grocery store and I know she will be cleaning and we will probably talk about getting engaged and moving forward.
Julia Bleu is so happy that Stephanie is back and I am over the moon excited and called my parents in the middle of the night to tell them.
I hope everyone has a great Sunday, I will be blogging and working on my new group Rainbow Nation.
BORN THIS WAY-2016