She was happy it was Friday and that we had the weekend, before my surgery. We are going to meet Bella and my ex wife at 11:30 am today for lunch and the gym.
Bella needs to work on upper body strength so I am taking her to Planet Fitness to use the machines.
Last night Stephanie and I headed out downtown to a place called Sonny’s. We had specialty drinks and appetizers. It was a great way to end Friday and begin the weekend!
We got home and my Mania Madness was raging and Stephanie just laughed. I think she gets nervous when she isn’t with me but being with me she is fine and relaxed even if I am going through a spell.
I couldn’t for the life of me settle down and so I went and blogged on my WordPress site. I blogged a couple of posts and then felt ready to try to watch some Braindead.
I was able with the help of a vodka tonic to lay down with Stephanie and watch the show. I just needed something to quell the energy levels inside of my body and brain.
I wrote and journaled about a girl I used to date. She had posted a sad post on Facebook where she described an awful situation that happened to her where she felt totally judged and like the other person was looking right through her. I don’t know what it was specifically about but it got me to thinking about her in general and how I judge her. I used to do it to her face but now the few times we text a month I just keep things to myself. She is very happy in a relationship and her kids are well so what does anything else really matter? She recently asked to borrow 300 dollars and I reluctantly said yes because she had borrowed money before and never paid me back. Stephanie spoke up for a rarity and said, “No Corey, you are not giving her a penny. She has a serious boyfriend and you know she will never pay you back.” I knew Stephanie was right so I texted her no I really can’t do it after our past. She wrote something back and I just didn’t read it. She has no business asking me for money or commenting on when I say “NO.”
I don’t know why her dimmed shine got to me. I think because I have judged her a lot for questionable and below board behavior. We come from different worlds and there is no getting around it. So while we watched Braindead I journaled about this girl. It made me remember all the shitty things she pulled on me the short time we dated and I soon didn’t feel bad for her anymore.
We finished watching Braindead and Stephanie suggested a bath…..I suggested a shower as we needed to wrap my cast up so it didn’t get wet. We went with the shower with a quick and fast transition to U-ME time which was simply amazing! I adore Stephanie and she is the most stellar girl I have ever dated. I can’t believe we are getting engaged and then will be getting married. Wow, the thought that this girl wants to marry me blows me away!
Stephanie and I cuddled for a long while as I had taken my sleeping pills and they were not working. Finally I dosed off for like 45 minutes. Not what I was expecting. I got up during the maniac’s hours and worked on my anorexia story. I didn’t go to the store for a coffee I took my Adderall with orange soda instead. I was working for about two hours when Stephanie came in to the study. She couldn’t sleep either so we went to the store and got coffees for both of us.
She had her computer and was doing some birthday shopping for me on-line. I didn’t say anything but she kept asking me questions randomly out of the blue.
I wasn’t able to work as focused with her in the study with me so I asked her if she wanted to watch Braindead and she was all for it. We watched an episode and Stephanie got sleepy again and I went back into the bedroom with her and laid down. It was so hard sitting still and I could barely do it but I knew if I cuddled with Stephanie it would make her fall asleep. Sure enough 15 minutes later and she was out like a light.
Now I was completely unfocused and so I took a break from blogging and read some blogs. There are some excellent writers out there along with some folk who are just plain disrespectful to the craft of writing. I will leave it at that but I came across some stuff that was really quite bothersome.
I then Facebooked it for awhile and before I knew it the sun was up. It had been a weird night for sure and tonight I need to get more sleep or I will be heading down the slippery slope.
I am gong to pack my bag for the day as my ex wife is coming at 11:30 am to pick us up for the day and dinner tonight out with my parents. I need to pack a change of clothes and some drinks to take along with us.
Stephanie just popped up and asked me if I wanted to take another shower with her. I know what that ultimately means so I said, “Be right there.” I love her and I love us together. Here comes U-ME all over again on Saturday morning. Stephanie is on this because we probably have my daughter, Bella, tonight!
Have an AMPED UP weekend.
I will try not to fly off into the full moon tonight.
BORN THIS WAY-2016